Everyone struggles with comparison and you’re lying if you say that you haven’t. I have always been confident, but comparison still leaks through. Eventually, through years of tears, I finally found fulfillment in who I was through the lens of Abba. At least I thought I did until that person came around who was just a little bit more fun, trendy, and seemed more “perfect” than me.
In the past, I would have let the thoughts of how unworthy I thought I was in comparison to this person consume me. The devil would use it as a foothold against me, whispering lies into my head.
But the last time this happened I was able to call out those lies right away. I told myself how dare I want to be like her, I am perfectly the women that God wants me to be. And I reminded myself of all the wonderful things that I am.
Although the things I told myself are true, as I am them in Christ, I have realized that in doing this I was reminding myself of actions or qualities that made me enough. I reminded myself of all the good things I’ve done, the things I’m really proud of.
My mind often tells me that I am enough because of all of the different things I do which I believe are good. However, in thinking this way I am overinflating myself, which is just as bad as believing the negative thoughts that comparison brings. By overinflating myself I am choosing to only look at the positives in my life. The things that I think are virtuous.
Having a puffed up belief about myself allows pride to evolve, but it also allows me to be hurt more the next time. When I find someone who I think is better my large ego gets crushed another time, reminding myself that the things I told myself last time aren’t enough anymore.
Only thinking about positive actions breeds a false identity that doesn’t focus on who I fully am. In reminding myself of qualities that are good I am setting myself up for failure the next time.
In Timothy Keller’s book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness, he speaks about this topic. He pulls from Paul’s message to the Corinthians to demonstrate how Christians should be living in regards to their ego.
He says that to truly have humility as a Christian we have to stop thinking about ourselves all together. This is a foreign concept to humanity. Yet, what he is saying is that you no longer attribute your sins or your accomplishments to yourself. Nothing you do is who you are. You are free in Christ.
In this, you and I are able to live in freedom, not having to impress anyone that we are better or good enough. We don’t have to cover up our imperfections. We are worthy because of the selfless act that Jesus did and that is enough.
I don’t need to worry about someone being better than me because I am the way God wants me to be. And I would be perfect the way God made me be if I did nothing at all. Comparison does not have to control my life because there is nothing to compare at all. We are all made in the image of God and perfectly so. We are all on the same side against one enemy. The only way to conquer comparison is to think of others instead of ourselves. Celebrate with people who deserve it and cry with those who need it. Think of yourself less and others more. Remind yourself that God made you uniquely. That is how you will embody the resurrection power of Christ and live in the freedom from comparison.